Someone once said, "Conflict represents an opportunity." Many interpret this to mean an opportunity to outsource the resolution to a judge or jury. However, a whole realm of conflict resolution lies before taking a claim to court. This article discusses some tips and techniques for resolving a dispute before going to court.
Sometimes, a dispute arises regarding the interpretation and/or application of specific governing document provisions. For example, an ambiguity may exist within covenants on whether occupants of a house are members of the homeowners association and therefore able to vote in board elections. Before going to court, the owners within the neighborhood may resolve the issue themselves by amending the covenants to expressly provide for who gets to vote. In the event an amendment is not practical or possible, then the dispute may be sent to court for a declaratory ruling.
Other times, the association or owners have already paid for some form of conflict resolution. For example, if my neighbor has a dog that barks incessantly, a city ordinance may cover such an issue, and I have paid through sales or property taxes for government to assist me.
Speaking of barking dogs, fences, parked cars, and whole host of other issues, the very first step in any conflict resolution is for the parties directly influencing and influenced by the matter to speak plainly and personally to one another. Recognizing that life happens all the time, circumstances may be explained in this initial conversation. Understanding may be reached that was not apparent before speaking with one another. Simply talking with one another, even after folks have hardened their positions and vilified the other party, has an almost miraculous effect on moving a conflict closer to resolution.
Now come some bulleted tips for conflict resolution:
- Think about the heart of the issue and how the other person might respond to your requests prior to speaking to the person.
- There is a difference between availing yourself of wise counsel and gossip; seek the former and avoid the latter.
- Sometimes involving a neutral third party, like a mediator, can assist parties in the resolution of their dispute.
- Legal fees and court costs add up. You and your adversary may be able to use those dollars for a resolution rather than seeking recovery of them in court.
I know, "Easier said than done." It may be that your words do not come out the way you wanted or practiced them. It may be that your attempts at settling your dispute with your neighbor aren't met with the same enthusiasm you expected. However, remember that there are no magic words for settling a dispute. As long as you and the other party remain in control of the dispute (i.e., you haven't yet submitted the claim to a court), the parties remain in control of the resolution. And who doesn't like control?